India and Masturbation.Ā 

Masturbation seems a more shocking word to Indian society than sex. Sex is still acceptable of course if you’re married (we’re Indian should rememberšŸ˜“) but masturbation is like a whole other level. I don’t understand why do people shy about their healthy sexual growth. Yes it’s socialisation and so much of tabooing everything, but few days back was having a normal conversation with my girlfriends on a whatsapp group and a friend used a word ‘Chhhiii’ on the fact of fingering. I know many elderly people reading this blog might’ve closed their eyes finding so many no no words but yeah being an educated and well socialised person too she thinks this way too. Or maybe in India we keep our so called not existing innocence alive by saying oh we don’t know this exist or we don’t enjoy this. My words for them are- you’re really foolish if you can’t explore your own body and you’ve some serious issues if you’re incapable to enjoy it too. 
It’s kind of gender stereotyping in masturbation thing. Thinking of a guy doing this is very easy and you really don’t feel good about him, as he might be a guy watching porn and really not receiving sex at all. Imagining a girl while masturbating is a sexier task, more a seductive style. But in both case of course neediness is there. It’s not coming as something natural but extreme thoughts are attached. However with girls it’s mostly like no we don’t know what masturbation is, no we don’t enjoy this, no we don’t give our guy oral (as again it’s some ‘chhii task’) and so on maybe they’ll call themselves virgin too forever. 
It’s not actually about society always what I mean. On my whatsapp group there was no judgemental society sitting but still some had that opinion. As if it’s an out of the world and not so important thing. We easily judge the society but we fail to evaluate ourselves. Really it doesn’t matter whether you do something or not but the point is of accepting. And it’s not even about accepting but not making as it some kinky thing. Our society structured in a way of hiding very basic facts of life and make them sound improper and so various hesitations and mix-informations arise. For eg still in most of the magazines kids ask this query that I masturbate a lot, is it gonna effect my health !! Reading biology and some feminist articles don’t make a person aware now I feel. It’s more about attitude of person which needs to be enriched with personal efforts only in the end. So yes please don’t masturbate sitting next to a person in bus or your office but do enjoy your personal space whenever you can.

Bright as dark

Wearing an orange frock,

She visits my home daily.

Complexion defined by the sun, 

and destiny would also by someone. 


Never walks on a straight road,

Jumps over stones marking achievements .

Hair tied like faded mysterious nest

And pearls are shining around the neck. 


She doesn’t need books and pencil,

Nature and wind are her tutors.

Smiles like a butterfly swinging,

Dancing, hiding again reappearing. 


Loves to play once in a while,

Crosses her brother in the race. 

But this run is gonna end soon,

As she’ll be marrying by next new moon. 


New hut would be her defined universe,

Collecting woods her new winnings.

In mornings she’d work for kind,

In evenings among stars her old dreams she may find…..

It’s not a havocĀ 

I don’t want to reach someday at the stage when I’ll lose sensitivity or the charm of relations. In all through our lives we make efforts for basically two things one is our work and the other is our relations. Both are in our hands and not in our hands at the same time. Seriously I don’t know what to write exactly but there’s such an emotional and thoughtful rush inside me which wants to splurge out. 

Talking about work I’ve absolute no idea where my life is going towards. I’ve cleared the exam and got the job and undergoing the training. I don’t know exactly what interests me nor I know is this the thing I’d be really handeling through out my life. Sometimes I feel it’s all the matter of opportunity and success. If I’ll find success in the same then I might feel that I’m enjoying it. But I’ve still not found that something which I’ll do, which I’ll enjoy, which will bring certain passion out of me and which makes my life worthwhile. I can’t understand how to explore myself now when I couldn’t done it in past 26 years of my life. Everyone has hobby or source of entertainment but I understand that’s different and I’m failing to understand what I need in real. 

And on relation side I don’t think anyone would be as screwed as me in this front. I wish for a simple life but I hate my emotional weaknesses and the issue of getting dependent when I can’t handle myself. I’ve made very wrong choices in past and the worse was building my hopes on them. Hope is the best thing that can happen to you and is the worst when you try to break it by yourself. And you try to break it not because you want it but because you know this hope is hopeless. It hurts. I don’t want to lose my trust and faith in relations and love and the forever bonding but I’m scared to feel in this front. I don’t know whether I’m broken or vanished in this side now. I can’t even blame other people or my luck but sometimes I think you don’t need all sorts of experiences in life. 

I’m still figuring out and not waiting for some miracle to happen. I’m not afraid of mediocre stuff nor wishing for some extraordinary achievements. I’m just looking for bits and pieces of happiness and some real joy. 

A good Saturday.Ā 

I actually wanted to write a poem but I’m not finding any inspiration or thoughts like that. So I thought of writing about my day only as it had been a good day after long. And obviously being a girl and for a person like me shopping, good food and coffee and nice ambience would work wonders. I didn’t go for my yoga classes today and woke up at 11:30am in the morning. After having lunch went for some shopping as it was a day off today. It was a sunny day in winters so pleasant enough to walk out. Shopped some stuffs and ultimately landed up to Sankley’s the mountain cafe in m block gk1 market. It had a nice Christmassy ambience. Calm and peaceful place to sit with soulful music. I ordered white penny pasta and a delicious creamy mocha coffee. The food was delicious and that made my day. Actually before that I even had street momos too thus was full by the end. After coming back to my place I went to jnu campus for some walk and again had a good filter coffee and Upma at India coffee house there. So it was a pleasantly sweet day after long and not filled with messiness and tensions around.  As usual sharing some pics with you of the cafe šŸ˜Š. For the first time I restrained myself from having wine and I’m happy o this fact. 

    
 

Street food festivalĀ 

Today I’ve made plan to go out in street food festival going on in Jawahar Lal Nehru stadium New Delhi with my friends. I’ve heard that it’s a bit costly and the food isn’t that good and was hesitant to spend the afternoon time there. I woke up late and had facial and spa appointment in morning and I reached the festival directly from there. There was a long line in front of entery ticket counter but by the time my other friends reached I bought the Rs60/ person entery coupons. 

We started from the Assam counter and I forgot what it was but sort of idli only made up of rice, a bit namkeen in taste but overall tasteless and I threw it. Then we had a yummy payasam of West Bengal and it was different coz they use jaggery made up of dates. My other friends were also enjoying non veg dishes but I being a vegetarian had limitised myself to aloo tikki chat and tasteless Bihari litti choka and a tasty kilfi and weird moong dal halwa and yes a filling satrangi omelette. Well I’m sharing the few pic I took there and it was a fun overall because of company and wonderful cold weather.  

    
    
    
    
    
   

MahabalipuramĀ 

My experience of Mahabalipuram was divine and peaceful. It was an unplanned visit with my two batchmates and the moment we reached there we felt so happy. Apart from the whole historical significance, grand structure and sculpt, the whole environment from the sky to the beach was majestic. I’m not describing the history and the story behind the temple but sharing few photographs that were took. We stayed there for whole day and bought few sculptures as souvenir. We walked till late on the lanes of Mahabalipuram and luckily found a taxi which dropped us back to Chennai in just Rs250. 

   
    
    
 

Black.Ā 

  
I don’t know what makes something to be like your favourite. I see sparrows I find them cute, I see pigeon and they scare me, I see peacocks they mesmerise me but crows….they just are my favourite. 

I clicked this pic on way between Calicut and Wayanad when we stopped to have some cake and coffee.  


We were already captivated by the greenery and peace in the air of Kerala. This was my second visit to Kerala but I visited the south Kerala  part before. Btw this blog is more about my favourite bird than about Kerala.

Why I find crow special ! Maybe coz it’s black and so very basic and raw, no shimmering and show off, kind yes it’s very kind and rear cuckoos’ eggs, genius bird with all logical and interpretation senses. I mean I just see crow and I sense some pride and individuality in that bird. It’s not cute nor it’s pet like. It has its own life and it keeps it at ground level. I find charm in it and it’s interesting when you observe it’s routine. I find this captured picture also close to me where the wings ain’t going flat nor upwards. It’s shrill voice isn’t a demerit as per me but I feel this bird doesn’t care what others think about it but always busy doing the duty. 

The tree cover below, the mountains behind and crossing the clouds this picture becomes close to me

The inside dead.Ā 

   
 
Sometimes we click a pic and then create a story about it or try to find meaning in it. Sometimes we just see the thing and click it finding a perspective before. These are those kind of pictures only. They don’t carry any artistic perception as such but the darkness and gloominess I felt while capturing them were enough to bring the sadness in front. 

Especially the first one. The empty diya and a dry lead in it, reminded me of the women in our societies who are unable to reproduce. This is still a stigma in our society and a major cause of divorce and seclusion. The cracks under the diya signifies the stigma and our mentality which pushes the woman in isolation, frustration, ignorance and a blow to her self esteem. 

The second picture signifies the complex web of hypocrisies in our society which never let anyone live peacefully and without notions and judgements. Everyone is a victim of their own ambiguities.